Mashed Cauliflower Query

So, this isn't completely serious - but i found it too funny to not post here.
My friend on facebook posted a query on the 'oldness' and potential usability of some cauliflower he'd left sadly in the fridge for a while. I found the whole interaction quite humorous and thought I'd repost it here, despite the lack of accuracy on my part.

How Long can raw cauliflower stay in your fridge till it goes bad?Bought some about 2 weeks ago I think, but cauliflower doesn't wilt or anything. Wanted to know if I can still make mashed cauliflower for lunch today?

-he said

I replied:

squish it, sniff it. if it smells funky, it might be off... if it's super soft, it might taste nasty. that sort of thing lasts a pretty long time.... but it can mold or start to rot. so check for squishy, gross smells..... but if it's just kinda old and soft, you can totally still mash it.
think of how long that shit ends up in the store before people buy it?
this is why i grow my own.
you should be fine.

To which he posted this response:

Dear, Austin Homestead

What would the best way be to make mashed cauliflower?
I was just going boil it until it was soft as all get out and then mash it up with some garlic and a little pesto, but if you've got a better suggestion, I'm all ears.

Sincerely,
East Coast Cauliflower Crazy

my ideas:

i've never actually made mashed cauliflower as i do not like cauliflower. which is , of course, why i'm growing one this year ???

but i make mashed potatoes thusly, chop and cook cauli til it's soft - but not completely destroyed and nutrientless...drain most the water and mash it up with whatever flavors you want, using a cake mixer preferably and throw in one egg whilst blending (it'll cook from the heat of the hot cauliflower) - this will make it fluffier. butter would be good too, but garlic definately good.

if you only have a potato masher --- the egg might not work as well, but it might.....

that's my thought, ECCC
good luck.

So thank YOU, ECCC for our first letter to the editor.

hahaha. i seriously can't stop laughing at this photograph.